agradecida

Do you ever have those moments where you are all of a sudden just hit with overwhelming gratitude for your life?  Those moments that you're not expecting, that kinda creep up on you when you are not looking for them and really doing nothing out of the ordinary, but something in that moment just makes you stop and be grateful from the very depth of who you are.  I had one of those moments this morning.

We were sitting around the table in our sunlit dinning room eating a BIG breakfast (thanks to my marvelous mama who stocked our pantries while she was here last weekend!) of eggs, bacon, toast and hash-browns.  Breck was presenting many compelling arguments about why we should give him another piece of toast instead of finishing the eggs and hash-browns still on his plate.  Elsa was meticulously trying to discover how many pieces she could crumble her hard boiled egg into.  And then deciding that it would make a better hair treatment than breakfast.  My husband sitting across the table from me, still in pajamas.  Nothing really that different than many other mornings in our house.  But it hit me.  An overwhelming sense of gratitude for my life, the people in it and where we are.  My husband who loves me so well.  My kids who fill my days in every sense.  Sipping coffee out of my favorite mug.  An apartment that I love.  Big windows that the sun shines through all day.  And a God that continues to show up and provide for us in ways we don't deserve, in ways that show us He is so totally faithful and He so totally loves us.

Maybe I was hit with this feeling this morning because my heart has been so heavy with burdens that others are facing right now.  Good friends whose 13 year old son just started chemo this week.  Another whose grandson passed away after just 3 days of life here on this earth.  I can't imagine.  Situations that seem so hopeless.  And while I have never been in their shoes, I have had loss.  I've had those moments when it feels like you'll be stuck in that pit forever and you'll never feel anything else other than the despair and fear, pain and confusion that you feel in that moment. And I am not there now, but I know I will be there again on this human journey we are all on.  And while our hearts do break with those that we love when they are going through difficult times simply because we love them, maybe we also feel pain because we know that tragedy in our own life could only be a moment away.  

But, in some way that I don't at all understand, God meets you there in the misery and turns your mourning into dancing.  You find a reason to smile again.  Laughter creeps into conversation.  Beauty shows up in unexpected places.  The sometimes mundane, daily rhythm of life takes over and brings a known kind of comfort.  And then I find myself in a moment like I had this morning.  A moment when life simply could not be any better.  A moment that took my breath away in the way that it totally filled up my soul.

So that is where I am at today, so overwhelmingly grateful.  And praying that those I love who are mourning will be dancing again soon.